The comments accusing me of lying about my taste in men are frustrating, not because they make me doubt myself, but because they perpetuate harmful stereotypes about fat men. These comments aren’t just questioning my integrity or preferences; they’re directly insulting an entire group of people who, like anyone else, are worthy of love and respect. Fat men deserve fair treatment and love, and they shouldn’t be demeaned simply because of their appearance. The idea that someone would find it impossible or unbelievable to be attracted to a fat man is hurtful, not only to me but, more importantly, to fat men themselves.
Fat men are often marginalized and mocked in a society that idolizes certain physical ideals. This isn’t just about romantic attraction; it reflects a broader cultural issue where people are often judged solely on their appearance. Fat men, like everyone else, have emotions, desires, and experiences. They develop crushes, have romantic interests, and seek out partners who they find attractive, just as anyone else does. Suggesting that they are somehow unworthy of being loved by a “conventionally attractive” person is not only unfair but also cruel. It reinforces the damaging narrative that a person’s worth is tied to how they look, especially when it comes to weight.
What these comments reveal is a deep-seated bias in how society views fatness and attraction. There’s an assumption that attraction must follow certain societal norms—where thinner or more conventionally attractive bodies are automatically deemed more desirable. This narrow-minded view ignores the vast spectrum of human attraction, which is incredibly varied and personal. People’s preferences differ, and there’s no singular standard for what makes someone desirable. Attraction is complex and cannot be boiled down to something as superficial as weight or body size.
To suggest that I—or anyone—couldn’t genuinely be attracted to a fat man because of his appearance is not just offensive to me, but it’s an insult to fat men everywhere. It sends the message that they are unlovable, less deserving, or somehow inferior, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone, regardless of their size, is deserving of love and respect. Fat men should not be demeaned or told they don’t deserve attractive partners. They are people, with full emotional lives, dreams, and aspirations, and they deserve to be treated with the same dignity and kindness that anyone else would expect.
Insinuating that someone couldn’t possibly be attracted to them just because they’re fat is a reflection of a person’s own prejudice, not a statement about the value of fat men.
